Let me tell you about the humongous mess I made launching my new website. It’s always good to read how other people fail and get through isn’t it?!
Well I personally enjoy a good yarn so let’s start.
I planned to reveal my new website on the Gemini New Moon on Thursday 6th June 2024.
What a perfect day for it. How auspicious! Momentous! The stars had aligned for the perfect timing. All my kids are in childcare/school on a Thursday too, “I’ll have lots of space to focus on it”, I thought happily.
Plus, one of the words for this new moon was Growth (according to the ‘Magic of i’ email I got in my inbox) my word of the year! It was meant to be!
Naturally, I left it until the very last moment on Wednesday evening to press the button to make it live.
Because I will never, ever learn.
Something in my brain insists on leaving things RIGHT TO THE LAST MOMENT. When I’m hosting a webinar, I will go to the loo or make tea or casually start scrolling on my phone literally one minute before I’m supposed to start it and I really couldn’t tell you why I do this.
But I do. Every, single time. And I host a lot of webinars.
ANYWAY.
So I pressed the buttons I thought I was supposed to press.
Nothing much happened. It said it can take some time to connect some sort of certificate (a certificate sounds much more congratulatory and fun than this one turned out to be). So I didn’t feel too concerned and went to bed, thinking I would finalise any launch content in the morning and just share it that day.
But no. It turns out that actually, I had pressed the wrong buttons.
I had broken everything so monumentally, that not even an email could be received - let alone a new site launched.
After HOURS AND HOURS on technical chat support to godaddy and squarespace while badgering poor Lauren Barber and Beth Raymond to death because I was so completely in a realm of technical hell I needed as much support as possible, I LITERALLY HOWLED IN RAGE AND FRUSTRATION in my kitchen!
Seriously. It was loud and it was long and not only did I howl with rage and frustration, I was dealing with all manner of old mindset nonsense.
Shame came along. Shame because I’d said I would launch on this day and if I don’t then this is obviously hugely embarrassing, I thought.
Shame because I HAD DONE IT TO MYSELF! I hadn’t left enough time, I had pressed the wrong buttons, I ‘should’ have been in a position to have been able to pay someone properly to do the whole thing for me so I wouldn’t have to touch any tech because it is not my Zone of Genius (the understatement of the year)!
Shame came again and again because I suddenly was in shame spiral.
My Comparison came to say hello too.
She was having a field day. It was exhausting. I was exhausted.
I thought about not going to the event I’d been invited to that evening.
I thought about curling up and going to bed early and not showing my face because I really wasn’t feeling myself and I felt physically so drained and tired. (And if I had chosen this, that would have been ABSOLUTELY OK).
But something in me knew that what I actually needed, for more energy and to claw back my true sense of self, confidence and joy was people, a change of scene, a new space.
So once I had accepted there was indeed nothing more to be done, that the website would not be live that day, that I had failed, I dragged myself to the bedroom, threw a few things in a bag and drove myself to the train station. I went to London. My old home.
As soon as I got there I felt a mix of emotions and nostalgia. This city, this pulsing energy, this old home of mine where I lived with Si for the first time, where I had many rounds of fertility treatment, where I eventually grew all three of my babies, flooded me with new thoughts, new feelings.
I went to the event. I spoke to amazing people working on the cutting edge of women’s health. I met new people. I had a few glasses of wine. I felt tired but also - I felt inspired. I felt motivated, re-energised. I had regained perspective and the powerful energy of the city and of the women and not being in my usual environment enlivened me.
I felt good. More than good, I felt happy and aligned.
And you know what happened on Friday?
I woke up, got a coffee from a lush little cafe, ate a croissant on a sunny balcony, ran a coaching call for my members and then: I FIXED THE FUCKING WEBSITE BABY!!!!
OK I didn’t do it alone. I did it with help from the best person on the planet: Edward from Go Daddy Support. Yes Edward. I mean it. You have no idea what your kind, confident demeanor and USEFUL and helpful voice on the end of the phone did for me.
I jest. The best people on the planet are the next two I’m going to mention.
Lauren Barber. An angel on earth who went above and beyond her role as exceptional space holder, designer, brand alchemist. Not only did Lauren guide me through creating my gorgeous new branding with her programme Essence, she designed the site and THEN: She helped me get the dam thing online. And I cannot thank her enough.
And Beth, oh Beth! Beth another angel; the kindest and also most brilliant person you’ll ever meet: my technical fairy and business support queen.
And I’m sure ACTUAL fairies and angels were involved because one moment it wasn’t working and then, the next moment: IT WAS WORKING.
Let me be clear for a moment: this is not just a website.
For a year and a half I knew I didn’t have an online presence which truly reflected who I am now, what I offer, the experience I’ve got, the services I provide.
BUT I couldn’t get my messy, post-partum brain to work out what needed to go on it, where to start, how to get new branding.
I couldn’t figure out when or what I would wear for new photos. I felt on a carousel of confusion and indecision. I tried to make a new site. I got quite far. But it felt all wrong. I couldn’t write the copy. I didn’t know what bits should go where.
And so, ladies and gentlemen, this is A MOMENT, a moment for me to take ownership of the chaos of the last 4 years since 2020:
When I had a toddler and a newborn, recovering from a c section in lockdown.
Launching my business in the October of that year.
Discovering I was pregnant again unexpectedly the following Summer.
Moving house and leaving London after 15 years.
Running my business as sole income provider in our household for a year.
DRUM ROLL PLEASE: I now declare the Chaos Years………over.
From now on there will be no more fertility treatment, pregnancies, births, postpartum or newborns or anyone under the age of 2 years old in my house.
Home is still VIBRANT, do not get me wrong. I’ll experience other seasons, other challenges - I know this. But nothing, ever, will be anything like the last 4 years.
A new chapter for me personally and a new era of my business has begun.
So I’m delighted to announce the arrival of my fourth baby:
www.thisisalicerose.com is now OPEN!!!!
HOORAAAYYYYYY. And you know what? The fuck up, the shame, the reminder I’ve just had, is exactly why I do the work I do. This is why I create the warm, safe powerful spaces online for high achieving smart women to come together!
Because I needn’t have felt any shame this week. In fact what I also did was gave myself was to tap my way through my thought patterns, affirm new ones, repeat them softly until I had soothed my nervous system and gently, gently allowed the waves of rage, frustration, shame and comparison to flow through me until they dissipated and disappeared…
My online coaching spaces teach women how to do this, support them through it so they can discover what they can truly do OR how they can STOP doing so much.
My work supports women through the messy, hormonal chapters of our lives and STILL be goddesses who feel worthy, loved, safe and abundant because we do it TOGETHER. My clients are barristers, HR directors, neuroscientists, creatives, small business owners, mothers, women figuring out what on earth they want to do, producers, media professionals, writers, solicitors. THEY ARE AMAZING.
So welcome to this new era. Welcome to the Joy Voyage…
Take advantage of my launch offer by grabbing my Ignite course with a whopping 50% off using the code IGNITEMEUP. Apply to join my exclusive Happen Club. Have a think about 1:1 coaching with me. Hire me for your business or organisation to speak on wellness, mindset and fertility support.
Because I am so ready to do the work I was always supposed to do.
Let’s make some magic!!
Love this piece Alice and love the website. Well bloody done to you and the support crew fairies! xxx
Congrats Alice! Thanks for sharing all the messy middle - what a wondrous thing you have achieved.