The Joy of Getting Stuff Done
Illness, parenting, acceptance, death etc. (Yes this is my subtitle. No it doesn't sound cohesive to me either.)
I stand in the bedroom. My four year old is downstairs watching 101 Dalmations, the little one in the bath.
I stop for a second, holding her pyjamas in my hand and look up at the sky, close my eyes and breath: he’ll be home in a minute, my shift is almost done. I do a quick calculation: 11 hours.
11 hours playing, feeding, cleaning, tidying, school runs, soft play, multiple negotiations, bath time...
Today was a good day. I laughed a lot with my kids, we had fun under the perma-grey sky.
I love my children and looking after them…is work.
No question.
Parenting is work. And that’s ok - I’m not averse to work. Work is not the devil.
In the Netflix doc Stutz, he explains that if you can accept that life is basically always gonna have pain, uncertainty and work then you’re onto a winner.
Freedom awaits. (He’s right. I have experienced this many times and also have to learn it again and again…).
Naturally I have no idea exactly what I want to write after that 11 hour shift.
I’ve had many potentially interesting thoughts rudely interrupted by various minor incidents:
“That’s a road! Stop!”
“Don’t pour it all over the floor….oh,”
“It’s her marble Reggie! Leave her alone!”
“Luna. Luna stop sitting on Reggie.”
Thoughts have included:
I really should order that parenting book
How can this comfy safe, normal world be real and at the same time thousands of children are getting blown up and how can I even write this, wrapped in a clean towel after a hot shower while my husband puts my children to bed in their warm, safe rooms, and why is this thought sounding so…basic and how can I educate myself more when I can barely find time to get the things done I need to get done on a daily basis??
I have got to write about the Alabama ruling that embryos are ‘children’. Jesus.
I will die at some point and so will everyone I know and this is not actually thoroughly depressing but is in fact, just a fact, which I’ve known for most of my life but, for the majority of the time, have paid little attention to - and when I do consider it, it is freeing and motivating (yes I read 4000 Weeks. Loved it).
Also:
What a privilege it is to muse and ponder about death and have the time and health and safety to do so
*Must write letters to all my children and family in case I do in fact die this week.
*Also do something about what should happen to my business in the event of my demise.
And a thousand others.
How do we ever get anything done?!
It ain’t sexy but if I had to pick one thing? Prioritise.
I’m the fucking QUEEN of prioritisation. If it doesn’t move my business or my life forward and it’s not essential or it can be passed on: it’s off the list.
I’m not sure how I ever functioned without this epic skill which I’m truly proud of (!).
Without it I feel I would perpetually spin, frazzled, probably splattered with a bit of yogurt, nappy in one hand, laptop in the other, never actually getting anything done outside absolute essentials.
(Which, let me be clear is TOTALLY OK when you’re right in the thick of something. Survival mode is real. I’ve been in it many times especially in the last 4 years. But then I emerge.)
Not getting things done equals stagnant energy. Low mood. Frustration. Self loathing. Mini-egg marathons. Doom scroll binges.
It also means I don’t make any money and as a business owner this is, you know, QUITE IMPORTANT.
So how does one snap out of one’s cottonwool-comfort-bit?
When I get things done I’m motivated, extremely pleased with myself (self talk is epic tbh) and creative. I basically start feeling like I can probably do anything and in fact, that I probably should. (Except perhaps open a restaurant or go into anything ‘sporty’).
The difference is stark, stark I tell you. So, I prioritise. Do something important that will actually move the needle towards my current goals.
Crack on and await my inner mind champions to rock up and pat me on the back, waving their little pom poms so I sort of feel almost obliged and quite happy actually, to go on and do something else too.
So. There you have it. A return of sorts to the Stack.
Very little coherence. A bit of death chat. A strange sort of segue into how to prioritise.
But! I’m back, after an unexpected COVID related, half-term exacerbated three week pause. And done is better than perfect.
Done is JOY. How’ve you been?! x