Who Am I To Do This?
How I got over the Big Fear to share my story, go full time in my business and serve my community
“Who am I to do this?”
My greatest fears when I started my fertility support IG account 6 years ago:
Who am I to share my story?
Who am I to tell people what helped me, in the hope it would help them?
Who did I think I was?
What would people think of this mum of a one year old, striding into the fertility community, all: ‘hey everyone, I can help!’
I wasn’t a professional (then).
I wasn’t an ‘expert’.
I was just another fertility gal.
And I didn’t just want to share a fertility story (I actually thought my fertility story was the least interesting part). To me, the mind-blowing story was that I had found a way to live, with joy and wholeness, in an apparently unending limbo - and it was this that I felt so compelled to share - but seriously, who was I to do it?
All I had at that point was my personal experience.
These fears and beliefs nearly stopped me from getting off the starting blocks.
We are so scared of what people think, aren’t we?
I had already been through a lot of failure and rejection before I even got to infertility. I truly believed I simply wasn’t “enough” at that point.
It took some transformative, deep and active, consistent mindset work, creative healing and self compassion to change the narrative.
These are some of the things which helped me make friends with the Fears (they get a capital F cos they felt BIG and blocky and in my dam way!).
These things allowed me to do what I wanted to do, which snowballed and became much more than I could ever have imagined (and now serves thousands of people)…
Here they are in no particular order.
The things that helped me get out of my way:
I connected with my higher purpose. Starting an ig account wasn’t actually about me at all. I was sharing my story, using my skills as a content creator, communicator and writer, yes. But the POINT of it was to share what I truly believed was life changing information for others as well as creating community and safe, positive spaces.
A friend of mine sent me this Marianne Williamson quote after I shared my fears:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
This puppy right here: ‘your playing small does not serve the world’ dropped in like a golden lightbulb into my fearful mind.
I began to see that, in fact, I had almost a duty to share and write and talk. It changed everything.
* Language which can spark so much emotion, like: ‘God’ instantly makes my little social media conditioned brain go on alert; someone on Instagram, if I shared this, would comment or message their strident thoughts on why it is BS and I am therefore an uneducated fool to share it, preying on vulnerable people’s needs or something. Well I am showing more of myself here on Substack now. Marianne uses ‘God’ in a spiritual universal way which aligns with my views and beliefs. This conversation really is another article isn’t it. I’ll stop here for now.
I’d worked on the self worth thing and perfectionism wasn’t an issue for me. Perfectionism is linked to our belief that something we create or produce must be perfect or it’s worthless a.k.a we are worthless. So I had that going for me and could press share on my first ever post. Taking ACTION. IT FEELS SO GOOD TO TAKE ACTION!! See point 4…
Momentum breeds momentum, action = happiness. I know now that all sorts of cool stuff happens in our brains which form new neural pathways when we take action and when we are being who we are truly meant to be.
Tuned out all the noise and concentrated on my own words, ideas, thoughts and creativity. Comparison thieves an’ all that. So this bit was super important. It really didn’t matter what anyone else was doing. It still doesn’t.
So there you are. Five things - there were many more, which became the springboard to my life as I know it now.
A business owner, podcaster, advocate, speaker, mum of three and certified Transformational Coach. NONE of which would have happened if I hadn’t got out of my own bloomin’ way.
You are enough.
Perfect doesn’t exist.
Your voice matters.
Do the things you want to do; you never know where it’ll take you.
(And there’s so, so much joy in the voyage - even the scary bits.)
The doors to my HAPPEN coaching mastermind are open…there’s an Earlybird offer until next Tuesday. Click here for the details or send me a message to ask me anything!
Yeeesss! The sign/reminder for me to the leap in my business, not playing small, I am enough! 🙏🏼
Woop! There she is! 🔥